The Skinny-Fat

We’ve shared our thoughts on fat people; we’ve shared our thoughts on skinny people.  It is now time to address perhaps the most disappointing of all: the skinny-fat people. Some of you may be wondering wtf I’m talking about.

Well UrbanDictionary.com defines “Skinny-Fat” as:
1)  When someone is thin and looks great in clothes, but is all flabby underneath

2) This term is used when a person is thin, yet does not eat healthy or take care of themselves. They think they don’t need to watch the junk they eat because they are thin. They can be more unhealthy then an overweight person.

You will know the people I’m talking about. Are they skinny? Or are they fat? They look good in clothes, but I’m not sure I want to know what’s going on underneath. These people are out to fool your senses. These people may look OK upon initial inspection; they may even sound and smell OK, but it’s the tactile sense that ruins everything.  Someone needs to tell these people that simply being thin is not akin to being healthy!

Allow me to share a story of a time when I was with a skinny-fat person:
This was with a pretty young lady, though she was admittedly not the healthiest bee in the hive. Fast forward a few hours dates, and we’re gettin’ down and gettin’ after it. All signs point to this girl having a pretty bangin’ body.  She’s naked: everything looks good. Proportions look good, she seems to take care of her appearance and ohhhmygodddd she’s a skinny-fat!!

What had originally appeared to be a tight firm body was actually a skin casing full of medium ground beef.  Squishy to the touch and having the properties of a 4-month old memory foam matress.
I was so disgusted that I only allowed the debacle to continue for another 2 weeks.
I spent 6-15 hours wondering “How could this happen to me?”
Answer: I didn’t know enough about the skinny-fat.

You can’t truly understand a skinny-fat until you are face-to-naked-body with one, but to keep everyone safe we at the LDU have put together a list of tell-tale signs you might be with a skinny-fat person.

- Upon initial inspection looks fit, but has no history of athleticism.
- Often speaks of fad dieting habits
- Abnormal jiggle you wouldn’t expect on a skinny person
- Skin lacks firmness
- To the touch, the sensation is similar to raw hambuger or perhaps a rotten peach or melon

Furthermore, if you are skinny-fat and don’t know what to do about it (and please do something about it), here are some of the reasons you may have become a skinny-fat:

• Bad Food Choices – Excess Sugar, Low Protein, Any Junk Food, Alcohol….okay we’ll be realistic, Excess Alcohol
• Under-Eating – Fat is the most efficient energy storage format for your body.  When you under-eat your body enters starvation mode and attempts to store everything as fat, burning muscle in the process.
• Excess Cardio – Trying to get rid of fat by using only cardio training is useless.  You’re body will burn fat, but also burn a lot of muscle as well.  Mix in some strength training – even if it’s in the form of circuit training (which will also serve as cardio training).  After all, more muscle = higher metabolism.  Why?  Two facts: 1) A pound of muscle takes up 40% less space than a pound of fat. 2) Every pound of muscle burns 35 calories a day while a pound of fat only burns 2!   More muscle = higher metabolism.

Lift some gatdamn weights!

That got a little more scientific than I expected…but sometimes you gotta race.

ChugaBeerHaveSexWithAnyoneButaSkinnyFatPerson!