Jessica’s Jokes – Soldiers, Deans, Circumcisions & More
JessicaJones | Dec 03, 2014 | Comments 0
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Enjoy this week’s jokes!
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc.
“Why all the attention ?” the friend asked. “You look fine to me.”
“I know !” grinned the patient. “But the Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches.”
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Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time.
First Soldier: Why did you join the army?
Second Soldier: I didn’t have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army?
First Soldier: I had a wife and I loved peace. So I joined.
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A five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer. The preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass the kid.
“Aren’t you a little young to be drinking, son?” he asked.
“That’s nothing,” the kid said after taking a swig of beer. “I got laid when I was three.”
“What? How did that happen?”
“I don’t remember. I was drunk.”
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The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls’ school was lecturing her students on sexual morality.
“We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation,” she said, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, “Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?”
*Joke submitted by Tim*
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