Jessica’s Jokes – Crystal Balls, Mistresses, Drunk Husbands & More

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Enjoy this week’s jokes!

A man comes home from a night of drinking.

As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him, “What’s the big idea coming home half drunk?”

The man replies, “I’m sorry honey. I ran out of money.”

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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his younger cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?”

“Sixteen.” the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he answered so quickly. “How do you know that?”

“Easy,” the little boy said, “all you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: ‘Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer’.”

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A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other’s behavior.

When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specific behavior of the passenger he knew to be his mistress. “She slept with nearly every man on the ship,” his wife reported.

The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same questions about his wife. “She was a real lady,” his mistress said. “How so?” the encouraged man asked. “She came on board with her husband and never left his side.”

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