Why The “Jack-Off” Method of Decision Making Works : The Lion's Den University
Class Notes - 04/17/14

04/17/14 - Class Notes

This class we are going to be discussing multiple things from the textbook. Re-read some of the sections you discussed later to make sure you understand all of it. In order to get back to the site once the teacher goes away, simply hit the close button at the top right next to comments and share. If you are the teacher and reading this, cut the kid a break - if your class was more interesting this would have never happened in the first place.

There are several things that can

Why The “Jack-Off” Method of Decision Making Works

Recently Mignificent blessed us with a solid nugget of knowledge and as I’m an avid postulator of theories, I began to think about WHY this Jack-Off method of figuring out if you’re into a girl is so effective. I came up with the following:

girl middle finger1 – The act itself separates primal/physical urges from internal desires. In other words, differentiating between the ego and the id. The id is indiscriminate- it just needs to satisfy the urge to have sex/experience sexual pleasure. It would drive you to have sex with an animal if you let it. The ego wants you to have sex with a particular female/male, and drives you towards that want. The act of jacking-off determines whether or not you want this girl, because the act fulfills the need and determines if you actually want this girl due a specific feature of her being (aesthetic or otherwise), or if you just wanted to “bust a nut”.

2 – If you DO go through with the meeting and things lead to thangs, it will be some of the best sex of your life. Katt Williams said it best: You can’t trust that first nut. It’s the unpredictable one. That’s the one where you almost have to think about something and somewhere else to make sure you don’t crack it open too soon. Even if you know you like a girl and you’ve gotten down before, next time you go see her, get it off first anyway and start off with that second nut while you’re with her (you can thank us later).

3 – This method can be utilized even a step further, but this step is a dangerous one, so use with caution. It has been cited by a number of men, and women, that they use the ‘jack off method of decision making’ to determine whether or not they even leave the house. Before going out to the bar, they rub one out, and then decide whether or not they still want to get dressed and meet up with friends. Plan to go to the strip club? Rub one out and see if you’re still down to trade in your 20s for 5s. Getting ready  for first class? First date? Kegger? Study session?….. Yeah, you can see where this gets out of hand (haha). Use with caution.

4 -Ladies, don’t think for a second you can’t apply this theory to your own lives. However, remember it is equally if not more dangerous a tool in your hands. We all remember that episode of Sex and the City where Miranda got that vibrator and refused to leave the house to attend social engagements, until there was an intervention… what?

Just chug a beer, have sex with everybody.

Be sure to check out:

How To Tell If You Like A Girl (Or If You Just Want To Get Laid)

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About the Author: My name is JohnStewart. I am a Black guy and I approve this message.

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  1. JackOff says:

    so… how long did it take you to think this brilliant article up?

    I’m sure your parents are proud of having paid big money to get such a ‘smart’ pair of tits.

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