Top 5 Gadgets You Need in 2010

We all know that in about a months time this list is going to be out dated and the people chugging beer and having sex on Mars are going to call me a idiot. But, I don’t give a f@#k…

This is a quick do-or-die list for surviving the next 6 – 15 days of 2010 (consider this early preparation for 2012′s list):

1) Blackberry Bold 9700

Cost: 149.95 on 3-year term or 599.95

This thing does 3G, Wifi and BBM and your mom (she loves the vibrating feature). Pretty much all you need right? Errr yeah….this phone is loaded to the tits with features that give most geeks a hard-on. This little guy is powered by a Marvell 624Mhz CPU with 256Mb of memory built in. A far cry from Apples iPhone 3GS but we all know the iPhone’s a toy and not a phone right? Right.  The Bold also packs features such as a high-resolution screen for internet porn, 3.2 MP Camera for those drunken nights out, a media player that handles an assortment of music and videos, a fairly decent web browser and a MicroSD slot for expandable storage. For new Bell or Rogers customers this will cost you about $149.95 on a 3-year term and about $50 a month on a decent data/talk/text plan.

2) Archos 9 pctablet

Cost: 549.99 USD or less?

You’ve probably noticed those trendy assholes with their netbooks sitting front row in their lectures. I mean they may not be assholes but let’s just hate on them for being trendy…okay who am I kidding? They’re assholes.Why not one up them and those Apple fan boys (once their beloved iPad is released) with the Archos 9 pctablet? The nerd gods heard our cries and gave us something worth buying. Powered by an Intel Atom Z510 @ 1.1Ghz, with a 8.9 LED touch screen and Windows 7 you can actually do shit with this piece of hardware. It comes with a 60GB hard drive so you can store some mp3′s and porn for when you’re bored in class and have shitty Wifi reception on campus. It also comes with the best tools for creeping like a webcam, microphone and what ever else you could need in a netbook. Since this thing runs Windows you can run all the applications you use regularly and not have to worry an app store. It also does full 1080p HD video.

3) Alienware Aurora

Cost: $1,649 (for a decent one)

For those of us who are awful at 360 or PS3, desktop gaming is a pretty rewarding experience. Losing the controller for a keyboard and mouse is something that we all love to do from time to time. Dell/Alienware came out with a decent system with enough juice to crank out all the FPS you could need when your pwning noobs at…Counter Strike. Powered by an Intel i7 920, 3GB of DDR3, 500GB SATA Hard Drive and a ATI Radeon 5870, you’re getting some decent bang for buck. Comes standard with Windows 7 64-bit and a DVD burner what else does a gamer need? Don’t answer that question, all I’m saying that if you want to frag some noobs and don’t know how to build your own PC  then this Alienware is the way to go.

4) Sony Playstation 3

Cost: $299.99 (for 120GB Model), $349.99 (for 250GB Model)

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years, you’d know that PS3 is the king of the multimedia experience. Although the 360 offers better online service (paid service that is), a more reasonable controller and cheaper price, goes to show that PS3 has the entire package. Powered by an IBM Cell Processor, developers still haven’t figured out how to harness the full power of this tiny black box. That being said this sucker does Blu-Ray. Blu-Ray!!! It’s the only upgradeable Blu-Ray player on the market, so for $299 you’re getting a bargain. Not to mention some titles are straight out of Japan like Final Fantasy.

5) Apple iPod Touch 32Gb

Cost: $329.00

The iPod touch is pretty much an iPhone without the phone function so in theory it should be called the “i”, but that argument is for another post. Moving right along…you have a pretty sweet platform for mindless games, useless apps and porn (as long as you have Wifi, apparently Apple doesn’t like porn apps) . It’s more pricey then the iPod Classic model  at $329.00 vs $279.00, but it’s Apple and they own the fuckign world do what they want.  The 32GB should have enough space for all your pirated music and movies, plus a little extra for some apps.

I’m done for now, chug a beer and have sex with the cutest girl you meet on the LTC.