The Butter-Face – Nature’s Curveball
UrbanDictionary.com Defines a Butter-Face as:
1) A homonym that sounds like “but her face.” To call a woman a “butter face” is to say her body is very sexy but her face is ugly.
2) One who shalt be brown-bagged.
We’ve taken the liberty of putting together a top ten (or bottom ten?) list of some of the biggest butter faces you’re likely to see anywhere. If you hated the Skinny Fat, you’ll probably hate this too. But then again, you’re probably the kind of person that hates just about everything.
8. The slicked back hair can’t be doing anything for her… I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. She could totally be one of those knockout’s….ahhh what am I saying? Imagine that girl getting aggressive and coming at you?
7. Make no mistake; there is NOTHING pretty about this former barstar/low budget adult film star/catcher’s mit. The only reason for her being #7 is that the face fits the body moreso than those to follow. Trashy up top, trashy down below.
6. This is your classic “average hot” body. She will be outdone, but she’ll still turn some heads if you put her in the right location. The problem with her face is that she’ll never look like anything but a straight up bitch. “Like, OMG, are uuuuuu seeeeeerious.” Girls don’t like you. Guys don’t respect you. Truth.
4. Haaaa…JesusH. She clearly tries too hard to throw those boobies as high as possible, which is and is not attractive at the same time. Doesn’t make sense but I don’t make the rules. So anyway, if you look closely she has actually managed to raise her knocks within millimeters of her clavicles. Too bad you can’t throw that on a resume because you’ll need to to distract would be employers from your shrunken head and cookie monster eyes.
3. Just. Don’t. Smile. EVER. Maybe it was a fish-eye lens? I don’t know…
2. NOooooooo. You should be on a runway somewhere, instead you’ll end up with a guy who has tattoos on his neck. This one actually reminds me of someone I know but I can’t quite think of who. I’m thinking way back into the vault.
1. Are you f***ing kidding me! How does that even happen?!? Your local librarian apparently has a ridiculous body underneath those sweaters. Find this girl and put her on one of those make-over shows. Please.
About the Author: Sixty percent of the time, my medical advice is accurate every time.