Air Jordan can get away with things the rest of us can’t. He can bet millions of dollars on the golf course. He can talk his way onto a minor league baseball roster. He can claim nobody ever believed in him at his Hall of Fame induction speech.
And on top of all that, he can… pull off a Hitler moustache?
It seems Jordan learned something from Adam Morrison while he was scouting him at Gonzaga — people who are good at basketball can pull off some pretty terrible moustaches. Either that or, as ESPN’s Bill Simmons speculates, he was thinking this:
You may have given me crap after my Hall of Fame speech, but in case you forgot, I’m still Michael Jordan. I won six titles and five MVPs. I paid my ex-wife one of the biggest divorce settlements in American history. I once left basketball at the peak of my powers to learn how to play another sport just for the hell of it. I am the most famous athlete alive, even right now, even though I’ve been retired for eight years. I can have any woman I want, including yours. And if I want, I can grow a mustache that hasn’t been seen in 65 years, not since the most reviled political leader in modern history wore it. Why? Because I like it, because I don’t care and because I’m Michael Jordan.
My favourite part is that now if you look up a toothbrush moustache (apparently its actual name) on Wikipedia, under “Notable people with a toothbrush moustache” Jordan ‘s name appears. He’s listed right along such other current Hitler moustache-wearers as current Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe, former Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir, and former Ecuadorian President Abdalá Bucaram, currently in political asylum in Panama while he flees corruption charges at home. Maybe His Airness should invite these guys to go golfing as a foursome.
Yep. Michael Jordan can get away with things the rest of us — or at least those of us not leading a war-torn or third-world country — can’t.
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