Jessica’s Jokes – Roosters, Panties, Sex & More : The Lion's Den University
Class Notes - 02/25/17

02/25/17 - Class Notes

This class we are going to be discussing multiple things from the textbook. Re-read some of the sections you discussed later to make sure you understand all of it. In order to get back to the site once the teacher goes away, simply hit the close button at the top right next to comments and share. If you are the teacher and reading this, cut the kid a break - if your class was more interesting this would have never happened in the first place.

There are several things that can

Jessica’s Jokes – Roosters, Panties, Sex & More

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***** If You Want To Submit A Joke To Appear In Jessica’s Jokes,
email jessicasjokes@gmail.com ******

Enjoy this week’s jokes!

There are a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink. One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned to Bob and said, “Times are getting tough my friend. I mean, just today my wife told me that she’s going to cut me back to only two times a week. I can’t believe it!”

At which point Bob put his hand on Jeff’s shoulder and said reassuringly, “You think you’ve got it bad? She’s cut some guys out all together”

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game_show_photo

Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show, where you have to answer questions to win the cash prize.

Lady luck had smiled in her favour, as Jane had gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show’s host could ask her the big question. Needless to say, Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous and fidgety as her husband drove them home. “I’ve just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers were. You know I’m not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow.”

“Relax, honey,” her husband, Roger, reassured her. “It will all be OK.” Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door.

“Where are you going?” Jane asked.

“I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon” he replied. Jane waited impatiently for Roger’s return. After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. “Honey, I managed to get tomorrow’s question and answer!”

“What is it?” she cried excitedly.

“OK. The question is: ‘What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?’ And the answer is ‘The head, the heart, and the penis.’ ” Shortly after that, the couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling confident and at ease, plummeting into a deep and restful slumber. At 3:30 in the morning, however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question.

“The head, the heart, and the penis,” Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly.

So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel the butterflies conquering her stomach and nervousness running through her veins. The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days events, faced Jane and asked the big question.

“Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 seconds.”

“Hmm, uhm, the head?” she said nervously. “Very good. Six seconds.”

“Eh, uh, the heart?” “Very good! Four seconds.”

“I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning…”

“That’s close enough,” said the game show host, “CONGRATULATIONS!!!”

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Three women walking down the street are stopped by a man doing a survey. He asks, “Ladies, would you mind telling me how you would know if you’ve had a good night out?”

The first replies, “I come home, get into bed and if I lay there and tingle all over, I know that I had a good night.”

The second one replies, “I come home, have a shower and a glass of wine, get into bed, and if I tingle all over, I know it was a good night.”

The third one turns around and says, “If I get home, rip off me knickers, throw them against the wall, and they stick, then I know it was a good night!”

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Rooster_portrait2

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.

Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared.

The man somewhat nervously said, “I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him.”

“Suit yourself,” the farmer replied, “the hens are round the back.”

JJ

If you missed our original feature with over 100 pictures of Jessica click HERE
&
To View All Joke Articles From Jokes Of The Week With Jessica Click HERE
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  1. Anthony Mark says:

    oh awesome jokes! I love it!

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