Jessica’s Jokes – Rain Boots, Golf Clubs, Thumb Sucking & More : The Lion's Den University
Class Notes - 03/29/17

03/29/17 - Class Notes

This class we are going to be discussing multiple things from the textbook. Re-read some of the sections you discussed later to make sure you understand all of it. In order to get back to the site once the teacher goes away, simply hit the close button at the top right next to comments and share. If you are the teacher and reading this, cut the kid a break - if your class was more interesting this would have never happened in the first place.

There are several things that can

Jessica’s Jokes – Rain Boots, Golf Clubs, Thumb Sucking & More

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Enjoy this week’s jokes!

A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parents’ bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, “Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb”

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Hatley Splash Gear Girls Rainboots Pink Stripe 300

A little person goes into her doctor’s office complaining of an irritated crotch. After an examination, the doctor sighs, “I don’t seem to see any problem. Does it get better or worse at any time?”

“Yeah, it’s really bad whenever it rains,” she replies.

“Well, then,” says the Doc, “Next time it rains, get in here at once, and we’ll take another look at it.”

Two weeks later, it’s raining really hard, and the little lady shows up at the doctor’s office. “Doctor, it’s really bad today. Please, you have to help me!!”

“Well, let’s have a look,” he says, as he lifts her up onto the table. “Oh, yes, I think I see the problem. Nurse, bring me a surgical kit. Don’t worry ma’am, this won’t hurt a bit.”

The little lady closes her eyes in painful anticipation. The doctor begins snipping away and finishes a few minutes later. “There you go, ma’am, try that.”

She walks back and forth around the office and exclaims, “That’s great, Doc, what did you do?”

“I just took a couple of inches off the top of your rain boots.”

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While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. “Did you get that for your birthday?” asked Little Johnny.

“Nope.” replied Jimmy.

“Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”

Again Jimmy says, “Nope.”

“You didn’t steal it, did you?” asks Little Johnny.

“No,” said Jimmy, “I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they were ‘doing the nasty,’ and Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.”

Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy’s new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night, he waited outside his parents’ bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noise of lovemaking. Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily. “What do you want now?”

“I wanna watch,” Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said, “Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet.”

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2golf

Two golfers, Bob and Jim, are out on the golf course discussing their golf game, when they get on the topic of other people they know who play the game.

Bob tells Jim that his friend from work Steve has just decided he wants to take up the sport.

Jim says in response, “Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!”

Bob replies, “That’s a GREAT trade!”

JJ

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  1. Anthony Mark says:

    AHA!
    I love this week’s jokes!

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