Jessica’s Jokes – Hacksaws, False Teeth, Son-In-Laws & More : The Lion's Den University
Class Notes - 04/26/17

04/26/17 - Class Notes

This class we are going to be discussing multiple things from the textbook. Re-read some of the sections you discussed later to make sure you understand all of it. In order to get back to the site once the teacher goes away, simply hit the close button at the top right next to comments and share. If you are the teacher and reading this, cut the kid a break - if your class was more interesting this would have never happened in the first place.

There are several things that can

Jessica’s Jokes – Hacksaws, False Teeth, Son-In-Laws & More

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Enjoy this week’s jokes!

When her husband passed away, a wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhoea.

Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhoea, not gonorrhoea.”

The widow replied, “Yes, I know that he died of diarrhoea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover, rather than the big shit that he really was.”

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A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength born of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vice.

She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw.

The husband, terrified, screamed, “Stop! Stop! You’re not going to……to….cut it off are you?!”

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said,   “Nope.  You are. I’m going to set the garage on fire.”

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An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, “I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had.”

The old man, feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. Then she said, “I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity.” The old man, again feeling obligated, reached over and gently placed his hand on hers. The elderly woman then stated, “I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine.”

This time, the old man had a blank stare on his face and started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the living room, his wife asked, “Was it something I said, where are you going?”

The old man looked at her and replied, “I’m going in the other room to get my teeth!”

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A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

“What are you doing?” She exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator.

“What are you doing?” He exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

A few days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

He replied, “Watching the game with my son-in-law.”

JJ

If you missed our original feature with over 100 pictures of Jessica click HERE
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