Jessica’s Jokes – Eggs, Viagra, The Milkman & More : The Lion's Den University
Class Notes - 03/27/17

03/27/17 - Class Notes

This class we are going to be discussing multiple things from the textbook. Re-read some of the sections you discussed later to make sure you understand all of it. In order to get back to the site once the teacher goes away, simply hit the close button at the top right next to comments and share. If you are the teacher and reading this, cut the kid a break - if your class was more interesting this would have never happened in the first place.

There are several things that can

Jessica’s Jokes – Eggs, Viagra, The Milkman & More

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Enjoy this week’s jokes!

A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast, “Bacon and eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit, and a cup of fresh coffee?”

He declines saying, “It’s this Viagra,” he says, “it’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”

At lunch time, she asks if he would like something, “A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?” Again he declines. “No, thanks. It’s this Viagra,” he says, “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”

At dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe and buy him a burger supper. “Or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or, how about a tasty stir fry? That’ll only take a couple of minutes…?”

Once more, he declined saying, “Again, thanks, but it’s this Viagra. It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”

“Well, then,” she says, “Would you mind getting off me? I’m fucking STARVING!”

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Milk_M_1762252a

Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago. He was only a few blocks away from his house when he realized he’d left his plane ticket on top of his dresser. He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly entered the door, and walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife washing the breakfast dishes, wearing her skimpiest negligee.

She looked so good that he tiptoed up behind her, reached out, and squeezed her left tit. “Just leave only one quart of milk today,” she said. “Jon won’t be here for breakfast tomorrow.”

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John woke up one morning with an enormous erection, so he turned over to his wife’s side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already woken up, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to bring it to his wife. The note read:

The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.

Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:

Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.

John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to bring it to his wife. The note read:

The Tent Pole’s Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You’re Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.

Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:

I’m Sure That Your Pole’s
The Best In The Land.
But I’m Busy Right Now,
So Do It By Hand!

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Chicken-or-Egg

If you think life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. And worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.

So cheer up, your life ain’t that bad!

JJ

If you missed our original feature with over 100 pictures of Jessica click HERE
&
To View All Joke Articles From Jokes Of The Week With Jessica Click HERE
&
Check Out Jessica’s FacebookFanpage and her profile on LifeClip

 

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