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Enjoy this week’s jokes!
A 16-year-old girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very good-looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her mom said, “It’s very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him, ‘What will be the name of our baby?’ That’ll scare them off.” So off she went.
After a little while at the party, a boy started dancing with her, and little by little he started kissing her and touching her. She asked him, “What will our baby be called?” The boy found some excuse and disappeared. Some time later, the same thing happened again: a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders… She stopped him and asked about the baby’s name, and he ran off.
Later on, another boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes, he started kissing her, and she asked him, “What will our baby be called?”
He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. “What will our baby be called?” she asked once more.
He began to have sex with her. “What will our baby be called?!” she asked again.
After he was done, he took off his “full” condom, gave it a knot, and said, “If he gets out of this one… David Copperfield!
In the days before birth control pills, a young bride-to-be asked her gynecologist to recommend some sort of contraceptive. He suggested she try withdraw, douches or condoms.
Several years later, the woman was walking down the street with three children when she happened to run across her old doctor. “I see you decided not to take my advice,” he said, eyeing the young children.
“On the contrary, doc,” she exclaimed, “Davey here was a pullout, Darcy was a washout, and Delores was a blowout!”
A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half- century age difference.
On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12 inch erection, and he was carrying ear plugs and a pair of nose plugs.
Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, “What are those for?”
The old man replied, “There are just two things I can’t stand: the sound of a woman screaming… and the smell of burning rubber!”
Whilst enjoying a drink with a buddy one night, this guy decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and go back to her place.
Later, the young man pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand. “There might be some matches in the top drawer,” she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy begins to worry.
“Is this your husband?” he inquires nervously. “No, silly,” she replies, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend then?” “No, don’t be silly,” she says, nibbling away at his ear. “Well, who is he then?” demands the bewildered fellow. Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, “That’s me before the operation.”
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