Girls With Guns Are Hot

Recently the Nemean posted an entry about gun control in the States entitled “Only in America…” and I put together the image you now see as the thumbnail. While searching the net I found that there were A LOT of awesome pics of women brandishing various firearms, which is kinda really hot and I’m not the only one that thinks so .

Whenever I come across something like this I always ask the question “Why?” (Damn my inquisitive nature). But seriously, as I collated this stuff, I found myself wondering “What makes a woman holding a gun more attractive than an unarmed one?” There are tons of movies and TV shoes that feature female characters wielding guns of all shapes and sizes, which prove the merit of this relation. Some obvious favourites include Jessica Alba in Dark Angel back in 2000, Sarah Connor from the Terminator series, 80% of all Bond Girls (check out this top 10), The Charlie’s Angels and Tomb Raider franchises respectively, Pam Anderson in Barb Wire (this is the firs 4 minutes of that movie and totally NOT safe for work), and the list goes on (might have a top ten for that one coming).

So why the fascination with girls and guns? Well, we put a crack team of researchers together (5 guys in 3 different cities sitting in their boxers on laptops) and they came up with SEVEN REASONS WHY GIRLS WITH GUNS ARE AWESOME!

7 – They’re just like us
She likes guns, we like guns- maybe she’d also like to chug beer and have sex while watching the original Transformers movie *Also known as the BEST TUESDAY AFTERNOON EVER*

6 – Survival #1
Once the apocalypse hits, a woman that knows how to use a gun will ultimately have no problem protecting the young’ens should your settlement be attacked by bears, techno-warriors, or the undead while you’re out doing man-things. Subconsciously- you know this.

5 – Survival #2
Those of you that have seen Year One (Olivia Wilde is in it so watch it) have witnessed firsthand why a Gatherer-Gatherer pairing is far less dominant/efficient than a Hunter-Gatherer pairing as far as survival and badassness is concerned. Here at the LDU we posit that as men we have an innate inclination that a Hunter-Hunter coupling of mates would be the most carnivorously awesome way to live, and a woman wielding a sniper rifle is the perfect partner to hunt mastodon with (Hunter-Hunter-Hunter couplings would be ideal if she’s got a friend that’s down for a, er, ‘hunting party’).

4 – Innuendo
There’s something about the way Angelina holds the hard steel shaft of a shotgun and cocks it with a firm passionate grip before spraying a fully loaded round all over her chest at incoming spies in that last scene of Mr. And Mrs. Smith (also one of my favourite cinematic gun battles).

3 – The Case for Absurdist Sexism
For some of us the term ‘strong female character’ is oxymoronic, and the only way that filmmakers could ever convince you lot that Kristianna Loken could go up against Arny in Terminator 3, is if her arm was literally able to turn into a gun at will. Similar parallels can be drawn across a number of film and television dramas that depict women supplementing their lack of physical stature with the strong arm of bullets and gunpowder.

2 – Femme Fatalism
Wikipedia defines the Femme Fatale as “an alluring and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations” (see list of my ex-girlfriends) and there’s something to be said for a woman that is both beautiful and dangerous… I said- “Do you wanna bang?” and she- didn’t say “No”.

1 – Just Because
Some things just don’t make sense, and this might be one of those things. A girl that’s ordinarily a 7 somehow bumps up to a 9 in an instant, once you see her holding twin glocks. Take a look at the gallery and tell me I’m wrong. I dare you. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m goin down by the creek to blow up frogs with firecrackers.

Keep it locked for my next installment… Babes With Blades… not even joking.