Getting Tested: It’s Like Starting From Scratch

So you’ve chugged a few beers and had sex with everyone.  Get tested often?  Ever? Recently?

You might be hesitant to walk into a clinic with literally TONS of girls all in the same boat.  You’re a guy…you’ve got your ego to look after.  But have you ever thought how AWESOME it would be to walk out of that clinic with a clean slate?

But it makes sense, right? Or am I way out in left field here?

That being said, there are a ton of caveats that you should probably be aware of.  The get tested, get re-laid approach only works if:

1. You’re good at what you do.  You haven’t been sleeping with these girls on a regular basis because you suck, not because they’re worried if you’re clean or not
2. Your kill count has to be high enough that these girls will think “Jeebus, he’s slept with that many girls and he’s still surfin’ sanitary?”
3. You clearly can’t lie about it.  Don’t be a douche.  Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, except for herpes.  That shit will stick with ya.
4. The Parking Ticket methodology does NOT apply!  What’s the PTM?  I thought you’d never ask.

The Parking Ticket Methodology

We have a good friend here at LDU that loves his analogies, and this is probably the best one.  Ever.

Situation:   You decided to park on the street for a few days at a friends place, a ticket-able offence.  You  walk out the first morning, and there’s a parking ticket.  What’s the point in moving, if you’ve already got that ticket?

In context:  You just barebacked a girl because you were too drunk.  The next time you two are in the sack, what’s the point of wrapping it up, right?

THAT is the Parking Ticket Methodology.  And it DOES NOT APPLY!

The moral of the story is GET TESTED!  For yourself, for your girl(s), and for anyone one else down the love chain.