by: Charles Poliquin
Today is the second interview with OFME our Over Feminized Male Executive.
CP: Mary-Jane, how are you?
OFME: Jonathan is the name.
CP: Not yet biatch, your nipples are still Frisbee size. How did you do on the HCL test?
OFME: I failed miserably. Got to seven pills in the middle of the meal, zero burning.
CP: To be expected. At least be grateful that you won’t get early onset senile dementia.
OFME: What is on the agenda today?
CP: Getting rid of that metrosexual look.
OFME: Hey, I am here to lose fat, get some vitality and virility. Since when are you a fashion consultant? Especially coming from some sawed off muscular mutant who shaves his head. What does that have to do with my fat loss goals?
CP: A lot Marylou. Got a question for you. You are a lawyer, you went to school for a long time. If your sink is clogged, and it is overflowing because the tap is still running, what do you do first? Turn off the faucet? Or unclog the drain?
OFME: Turn off the faucet?
CP: Excellent, but why Claire?
OFME: Because you don’t know how long it will take to unclog the drain, therefore you must stop the overflowing first. Then, deal with the unclogging
CP: Precisely Annita. Here is my point, you smell like a three dollar whore from all the moisturizers and lotions you use, and you try the typical female approach of distraction technique by spending a lot of money on your hair, so you think we pay attention to your hair not that fat droopy wide ass you got. Females should know that males don’t look at your hair unless they are gay. Now I see that you have your gym bag with you. Is all your grooming kit in it Marissa?
CP: Pull out every lotion, cream, and gel out please, and read the labels Julie.
OFME: (Reading every label silently)
CP: You are supposed to be a smart guy, how come you move your lips when you read Kate?
OFME: Get bent!
Parabens are used in many industries to prevent the growth of bacteria in a wide range of consumer products, ranging from a variety of foods to pharmaceutical drugs. Its most common use has been as a preservative in all sorts of cosmetics: shampoos, conditioners, facial and body cosmetics, skin care products, sunscreens, underarm products (antiperspirants and deodorants), colognes and perfumes, soaps, even the liquid hand soaps.
Again, time to turn off the faucet Beatrice.
CP: No wonder Connie, you are a lawyer, you are in the distrust business. Here are the facts. There is plenty of recent evidence from numerous studies demonstrating that several types of parabens can bind to the estrogen receptor site and will induce estrogen-like responses when tested in laboratory animals or in a wide range of tissue culture assays. Is Cornell University reputable?
CP: Okay Cinderella, go to one of their websites and read for yourself. The website is written here: http://envirocancer.cornell.edu/Bibliography/Bibliography.cfm
Just look under the tab Endocrine Disruption Bibliographies
When you come back with your tail between your legs Shirley next appointment you can take me out for a man’s meal, of lets say steak and lobster. I know you will bill it to some poor client of yours tab anyway, you overbilling squats-to-pee wussy.
OFME: You are on Cro Magnon!.
CP: Now, here is the deal Francine. Until your next visit. You are going to take 3 HCL 4.0 in the middle of every solid meal. Like the meat and nut breakfast you are going to start.
The details are here: The Meat and Nut Breakfast
Here hand me over my stapler. I will put 15 staples in each eyebrow. That will for sure take away attention from that big toilet of yours.
Just kidding, there is a solution for you Paula, go to the EWG’s Cosmetic Database to see how your products rank in terms of safety:
Now what are your two take home points for today?
1.My cosmetics drove me to squat to pee.
2. Time to turn off the estrogenic faucet.
Filed Under: Nutrition...Made Better
About the Author: Sixty percent of the time, my medical advice is accurate every time.