Actresses That Are NOT HOT: TV Edition

So I started this list with what I intended to be 10 names, but with the success of the first instalment 10 Hollywood Actresses That Are NOT HOT [Part 1/3] I found that there were several names I needed to add to my list as people started forwarding further suggestions. Also, I’ve recently become infuriated by some of the cast selections on a few of my favourite TV shows, and decided to expand the selection parameters to include television actresses.

Once again I’d like to clarify- I’m not simply selecting actresses that are unattractive. The list is comprised of females cast in roles that require a amazing looking actress (ie. The Girlfriend, The Girl Next Door, The Cheerleader etc) that are not even close to as hot as they need to be to make it believable. With that said, let’s get to this week’s ACTRESSES THAT ARE NOT HOT: TV EDITION

Alexis Dziena

This girl needs to fucking disappear… Or turn sideways, ‘cause let’s face it she’s beyond skinny. That girl is straight rexic. Not hot at all. She’s looks like a cross between a Chihuahua and an Olson twin. Whichever one is the skinniest. The fact that she looks like she’s 12 doesn’t help either. She currently plays Eric Murphy’s love interest on Entourage and on a number of occasions characters actually comment on how terribly young she looks. I understand that they wanted to cast somebody that looked younger than Eric, but why a girl that looks like absolute jailbait? With the many beautiful women Entourage has ‘exposed’ us to, its hard to believe that this was the best candidate for E’s latest distraction from Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui).  And upon further comparison between the two women, I think you’ll agree that there is no comparison.

Elisabeth Moss

Better known as Peggy Olson, the secretary-turned-copywriter on Mad Men, Elisabeth is just about the only low point in the entire show… and it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a female breaking into a man’s world, as I actually really like that aspect of the show… so fuck you feminist-conclusion-jumpers! Anyway, I know they were looking to cast a ‘plain’, homely looking actress to play this roll, as once again its a function of the plot itself, but gatdamn they could have at least given us something to look at! Ms. Moss is likened to a higher functioning troglodyte, and upon further inspection I think you’ll be forced to agree. Well gents, when 2012 hits you can at least be sure this one will be able pull a plow, and any impending nuclear fallout won’t affect her genetically- this one’s already a throwback. Take a look at some of the legitimately good looking woman of Mad Men here.

Madeline Zima
As Mia of Californication (greatest show ever), she introduced many of us to the concept of “fucking and punching”, BUT this actress should have been replaced after the pilot. I’ll admit that there was something alluring about her in that first episode. It probably has a lot to do with the whole “fucking and punching” bit. Not even mad. BUT, an episode later there is a scene where she comes out of the pool with no makeup on, hair slicked back, and showing all sorts of pudge in her bikini, and well let’s just say ‘hee haw’ and call it a day (see below). The more I see her, the worse it gets, and the ‘butt-chin’ just doesn’t work out for her… womp. Now I know I’m going to face some backlash for what I just said, but honestly take a look at the pictures and ask yourself if you actually think she’s drop dead gorgeous, or if you’ve been brought to think of her as such by the type of character she plays, and because magazines like Complex tell you she is. Big difference.

There are many MUCH HOTTER women on Californication. Check out the links below for a few of my favourites:

Michelle Lombardo Is Hot

Brooke Banner Is Hot

Michele Nordin is Hot

Carly Pope is Hot

Chug a beer (formulate an opinion) have sex with everyone.