There is now just over a month left before the season premier of the third season of the HBO series Game of Thrones on March 31st. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this TV show, it’s a brilliant fantasy drama set in a land called Westeros (think Lord of the Rings, but filled with douche-bags, and without any hot elves) where every character you get trick into caring about ends up dead- I highly recommend it. Now, while waiting for season three, I’d like to share with the you 7 life lessons one can gain from this fantastic series.
And when I say anyone, I really mean it, as good ol’ Ned Stark learned this the hard way. While he was busy braiding friendship bracelets with the king, Robert Baratheon, power craving maniacs plotted to ruin him, and the next thing you know, both the king and Ned got their asses kicked. There is always going to be that person in your life who is oh-so-nice, and cool-because-you-like-the-same-bands, but the next thing you know they will literary stab you in the back with a giant sword (Jaime Lannister, I’m looking at you).
So, learn from Ned’s mistakes, and the next time your mom tells you that she loves you, check to see if her pupils are dilating slightly, because she might be lying.
2. Dire Wolves Are Great Pets
Maybe it’s just me and my love for any type of wolf, but dire wolves are the coolest pet anyone could have. The company of a dire wolf can make the smallest and most awkward person look like a beast, while frolicking down the street. DWs will also rip the throat out of anyone who wants to hurt you, making them the perfect pets! Maybe not the most pleasurable thing to happen to an unsuspecting stranger, but you know, personal safety first, right? And last but not least, these fierce-some animals are painfully cute when they are puppies… Too bad they don’t exist.
3. People With A Lot Of Power Are Assholes
Maybe this simple truth doesn’t come as a big surprise, but GOT has proven that it’s nonetheless true. If you are a kind, genuine and honest person, you are more or less going to get fucked over, and will probably get killed in a day or two. So, now that leaves you to think, if one wants to become successful, one must step on a few toes! This might be true, but let me tell you that people with power will not step on your toes; they will rip your toes off using giant rusty tongs, and then saw your feet off with the dullest saw that they can find. So yeah, if you want to become extremely powerful , it is essential that you go into douche-bag-mode for the rest of your life, just as the ever so hated king Joffrey Baratheon has demonstrated time and again.
4. All Ghost Stories Are Real
In Westeros there is magic. I’m sorry if that was a huge spoiler for you, but it is a fantasy story, so what did you expect? The thing is, just like in our world aka the Earth, people in Westeros typically don’t believe in it. The people of Westeros have plenty of tales about dragons and zombies, but what do they do about them? They called anybody that believes in them stupid, and continue on with their miserable lives, while simultaneously, on the outskirts of civilization, the dragons and white walkers are roaming the earth, looking for new victims, unbeknownst to the common citizens.
So, when you hear a creepy story about a child-eating-monster that breathes fire and sings opera, don’t dismiss it as a strange myth and continue on with your miserable life; instead prepare for the worst to happen. And with your luck, you’ll probably be attacked in no time, but at least you’ll be ready for it!
6. Appreciate Your The Normalcy Of Your Family
You might think that your family is strange. You might have a creepy uncle, sure, we all do. You might have an obnoxious cousin who drives you crazy, but your home life would have to be batshit-fucking-insane to even come close to some of the families in Westeros. Take the Frey family for example. Now, I would rather spend of my life standing on the Wall wearing only a potato bag than be one of Walder Frey‘s kids. And don’t get me started on the Lannisters! I don’t care how attractive and funny your sibling is, there are just certain things siblings shouldn’t share with each other (genitals are a great example).
6. Swordplay Is A Valuable Life Skill
A sword might not be as effective as a gun, but don’t tell me that carrying a giant sword at your hip wouldn’t be the greatest feeling ever. Anybody can feel tough with a gun, but will that tough person still be dangerous when it’s taken away? Syrio Forel, one of the coolest dudes in the show, proves that once you know how to use a sword, almost anything can be a lethal weapon, as he demonstrated by beating the crap out of five soldiers with a piece of wood.
Now if you don’t think that was pretty fuckin’ cool, then we can’t be friends.
7. The Most Unexpected People Are Usually The Greatest
This, my friends, is a very valuable lesson, also proving that the internet isn’t so bad for you after all (show this list to your mom). Between all the killing, blood and nudity that make Game Of Thrones awesome, we discover that people who are deemed to be weak and boring, are in fact, incredibly awesome. Just think of Arya Stark, a seemingly defenseless ten year old girl from a noble family who, as it turns out, will slit your throat without hesitation if it suits her mood. Or Varys, the enuch with the roundest head you’ll ever see on a man, who is so much like that girl in high school that knows everything about everyone, and isn’t afraid to take advantage of it, so she can keep hanging out with the “popular kids”. And don’t forget perhaps the badass of them all, Tyrion Lannister, whom everyone mocks because of his dwarfish stature, but uses his wit and intelligence to outsmart everyone he meets in the kingdom, and did I mention that he is hilarious while doing it?
So there you go, seven valuable life lessons from a show consisting of dragons, knights and nudity. How about that?
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